As the leaves on the trees turn colors and begin to contemplate the next step in their personal and collective evolution, I feel compelled to do the same. Though instead of preparing for winter, I am preparing myself for spring. No, I am not battling the chilly air or inevitable long nights, but the giddy feelings I am experiencing and nurturing are causing flowers to bloom inside of me, rather than leaves to drop. The thorns of the rose that is my heart tear at remnants of my past romances and past selves, shredding lingering emotional responses that do not serve me and tearing apart my own illusions of success and failure. I welcome the blood that seeps from these puncture wounds and know that it is this pure blood that gives color to the rose inside me, as melanin gives color to my skin. I am acutely aware of the law of attraction that tending to my personal rose garden magnifies. Every time I look at myself, my growth, and my potential growth, my rose grows a little fuller, each kind word bringing an additional beautiful petal. Negative or cyclical thoughts serve only to restrict nutrients to the flower, and therefore flowers not constantly and positively tended to whither easily. I am ecstatic to share my joy with those who offer me water, nutritious soil, sunlight, or tender hands. I reject those who solely seek me out for my beauty and pleasure but are not willing to be cut by a thorn.
Meditating with these intense emotions has by far been the best way to allow myself peace and space to flow with, rather than against, all that comes up. Smoking meditation has become routine lately--- now I much prefer to smoke either in nature or the dark, with only music or in "silence." I am re-falling in love with all of my self-care practices, and weed has been invaluable in assisting me. This Orange Skunk hybrid from House of Cultivar has provided the perfect balance of happy and calm; body sedation and mental acuity; observation and action.